I love you. But, you tell me I don’t know what love is, I am not capable of loving anyone, I care only about myself. I believe it sometimes too. But, then how do I explain this feeling that I get sometimes when I look at you, and all I want is to hold you and hold on to you and be content. When I think of you and the longing fills my heart, tears well up and I feel this lump in my throat. When I see you smile, or when you laugh uncontrollably and in that moment life suddenly makes sense.
But, then maybe I imagine loving you, maybe I am lying to myself when I believe you to be the only person who touches me, who I care for. Maybe it is because I can never have you, not in the way I want to; I want to possess you, I want you consumed by me, I want you in so many ways, I want you completely, I want you for me.
But, then.......and then......, and this is what I hope to remember for now and in the days to come.
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